


Gonna Love Me

by nihilistshiro



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Body Dysphoria, Established Relationship, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscarriage, Other, Post-Canon, Trans Lance (Voltron), shance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 07:54:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21472609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihilistshiro/pseuds/nihilistshiro
Summary: Shiro is away on an Atlas mission and Lance is home alone, spiraling.
Relationships: Lance/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 110





	Gonna Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> T_T IM SORRY FOR THIS
> 
> I just needed some hurt/comfort and wrote this Twitter thread a few days ago..

Lance woke up aching, his head fuzzy and throat sore. He'd started his period two days ago and so far, it had been a doozy. 

To make matters worse, Shiro was away on a mission and wouldn't be back for a few more days if he was lucky. At worst, it'd be another month.

Lance moaned quietly to himself in the big king bed, which made him feel small and vulnerable when he was alone. He curled up on Shiro's side, nuzzling into his pillow, looking for a faint trace of his scent and finding none.

His eyes were glassy with unshed tears and he rubbed a hand along his lower abdomen, too depressed to get up and get medicine and too tired to care.

Lance stared at the wall, eyes tracking listlessly over the little textured patterns he saw imprinted beneath the white paint. 

He tried not to think about the fact that his period signified another failed attempt at pregnancy. 

Tried not to think about whether or not Shiro would be back when he next ovulated.

Tried desperately to forget four months prior, when they'd gotten pregnant and didn't make it past the first trimester.

They'd been talking about starting a family for years. Now they were ready and it felt like his body was giving up on his dream. 

Lance wasn't sure how long he laid there but eventually, his stomach rumbled and he decided to go in search of food.

He ended up heating up frozen pizza rolls and finding some ibuprofen for his cramps. He turned on the TV to stream but couldn't decide on anything to watch so he sat in silence, eating his pizza rolls and staring out the window.

He tried a few other things to make himself feel better. Manicuring his nails. Pruning his plants. Drinking tea. 

Nothing helped.

Lance crawled back into bed feeling worse than before. He checked his phone. No new messages from Shiro, just a picture from Pidge in the group chat of a new robot they were working on.

He drifted into a restless sleep, and when he woke again the sun was setting. Another day wasted.

Lance decided to take a hot shower, attempting to wash away the film of unrest that covered him and he ended up sitting at the bottom of the shower, arms wrapped around his knees.

Tears mixed in with the hot water and Lance let them flow, sobbing with growing volume. Just when he was at his peak of despair, the bathroom door cracked open and a voice called.

"Babe? Are you in there?"

"Shiro? You're home!"

Lance scrambled to his feet, slipping on the tile and nearing falling to his death.

He opened the door and found Shiro stripping off his uniform.

"I'll join you," he said with a wide smile and Lance felt his heart pinch in his chest.

Tears welled up anew but soon Shiro was there, curling his arm around Lance and holding him tenderly beneath the warm spray.

"I'm so happy your home," Lance mumbled between his sobs, lips brushing Shiro's chest.

Shiro's hand stroked Lance's back. "Me too."

"I started my period. I'm not pregnant."

"Ah."

"I'm sorry, Shiro. I want to be able to give you a family, I just don't seem to be any good at it."

"Hey, it's okay. Don't cry, baby. I'm not mad at you. We'll get there in our own time. The important thing is that you're healthy and that we can try again."

"I don't know if I can. What if...what if it turns out like last time?"

Shiro was silent, resting his cheek against Lance's damp hair.

"I don't want you to have to go through that again. But, if it happens, we can always adopt."

"You'd be ok with that?"

"Sure. I mean, yeah, I'd love to have our own. Mostly because I'm selfish and want a little you running around. But any child we raise together is going to be loved so much. And as long as I get to do it with you, well, that's what I care about."

Lance gave Shiro a wobbly smile and let him wash him, his hand dragging a washcloth across Lance's skin with delicate care.

Shiro dried Lance off and then himself, both of them pulling on pajamas. They went to the couch and flipped through Netflix to find a cheesy movie.

"Have you eaten?" Shiro asked.

"Yeah, but I really want some ice cream. Too bad we're all out."

Shiro gave Lance a mischievous grin. "As a matter of fact.."

Shiro scampered off to the kitchen, returning a few moments later with a carton and two spoons.

"I fucking love you," Lance said, accepting a kiss as Shiro sat down beside him.

"I fucking love you, too."

**Author's Note:**

> If you're a horny sad like me, you may enjoy my ramblings on twatter [@nihilistshiro](https://twitter.com/NihilistShiro)


End file.
